Sunday, July 12, 2015

At Least Don't Hurt

"Take these home for Mom and Dad.  Tell your parents about this later. Dear Parents...  Be sure to remind your parents about Bingo Night!"

All of these are innocuous phrases with no ill intention.  They're probably said in some variation or another more times than we can count in a day.  But for some kids and the people who care for them, words and phrases like "parents" and "Mom and Dad" can be just a little bit of salt in an open wound.

I have had students being raised by grandparents, students in foster situations, students who have tragically lost one or both biological parents, students in single parent homes, students whose parents have divorced and both remarried, and students being raised by a sibling.
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As a kid who was raised by her dad, I remember being sensitive when someone assumed that I was with both parents or since they were divorced that my sister and I lived with my mom.  The adults in my life were not purposely trying to be exclusionary or hurtful, but it didn't take much to remind me of the I was different, especially right after they split.

Instead of saying "parents" or "mom and dad" or "guardians" (which I always found to be a very sterile term anyway) what about "Family?"  Now you could tell students to share something with their families. Communications home could be "Dear (insert class, school name, mascot, or organization) Family."  Not only is it going to help those kids in atypical situations feel more included, that subtle change in language can make your class, organization, or even the whole school a family.  

It's not perfect, and I'm aware that there are kids who would rather forget about their family too, but it's a simple change.  If as educators we're always seeking ways to help our students in ways both big and small, something like switching around a couple of words certainly can't hurt.






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