Suggested Additions to Instrumental Music Teacher Prep

The following are course descriptions for Amy's Really Really Awesome School of Music for People Who Want to Teach Good and Do Other Stuff Good Too and Who Experience Minimal Shame in Borrowing Humor from Famous Movies (we're thinking of changing the name...).

• Advanced Orthodontia
• Learn more about adolescent orthodontic issues and treatments than you ever thought you needed to know.  Discover strategies for dealing with: tooth extractions (including crowded baby teeth and wisdom teeth), braces, spacers, retainers, rubber bands, etc. as well as the benefits of wax.  Also covered will be the importance of thoroughly rinsing before playing any wind instrument, especially because at least one class will probably be right after lunch.
• Instrument Repair Inspired by MacGyver
• Repairs are most often needed two hours after your road representative has left, the day before an extended school break, immediately preceding a performance, or after your repair budget has been run into negative numbers...in January. Explore repair methods utilizing common items such as rubber bands, lighters, and plumber's tape as well as classic tools like screwdrivers, pliers, and hammers.  Bubble gum, duct tape, and paper clips will also be discussed.
• 80 Hours of Work in a "40 Hour" Week
• Develop the skills to convince your family not to put your face on a milk carton and how to help them remember what you actually look like should they need to.  Exam will include making the argument against a Missing Persons case during musical/festival/marching band season.  
• Room Gremlin Infestation
• "It was like that when I opened the case." Learn how to recognize and combat common gremlin issues such as: disassembled valves, new dents, instruments in the wrong locker, picked apart mallets, "stolen" music, broken strings, and foreign objects lodged in instruments. 
• Sound Systems for Dummies
• Your music degree will compel the assumption that you know how to work any sound system regardless of its age and actual intended use.  The fact that your college years were spent practicing your instrument and probably not learning about speakers, wireless microphones, and mixing boards will also be irrelevant. Learn just enough about most systems to be dangerous and sound like you know what you're talking about.

Please leave additional suggestions in the comments!  What else would you like to see?