Shining Beacon of Failure

A friend once told me a story about working a high school band camp in an area filled with camps that other schools used as well. A hazard of using a Long  Ranger to speak to the band while out on the field is occasionally picking up communications using the same frequency. After a not so pretty run through, over their speakers came "Well that was a shining. beacon. of failure." from (presumably) one of the colleges rehearsing nearby. The kids all laughed because they knew it wasn't from their own instructors, but it became an oft used phrase the rest of the week and one I borrow occasionally.

I'm working on my second beacon of failure for the evening. The first was my initial foray into the wide world of being a Shipt shopper. I wasn't expecting miracles on my first attempt, but as an experienced grocery shopper, I was also expecting to be better at it than I was. Shopping for other people is hard though, even with an itemized list. To substitute an item, you need to text the client and get an OK. Sometimes you have to ask employees to help you sort out three different kinds of plums (that all look the SAME) to find the ones requested. Sometimes you discover that while one store keeps bread crumbs with the baking items, another keeps them with soups. (Why aren't they with BREAD?!?)

I was late which makes me 0 for 1 on timely deliveries right now. My shopper rating doesn't look good.

Failure number two is currently burning on the stove, despite my best efforts. My second attempt at vegetarian "burgers" are crumbly messes that are scorching to the bottom of the pan. I got cocky and messed with the recipe from my first attempt just a little too much. I also just realized that I failed to make my usual sauce that can generally cover a multitude of cooking sins. Dinner's going to be late. And crunchy.

The Universe is often better than I'd like it to be at kicking me in the pants every now and again. Sometimes though that kick in the pants is a great reminder of two things:

1. While we maybe be better at some things than others(give me 50 beginning band students any day), others have different knowledge (shout out to the awesome woman who doesn't even work at the store who kindly pointed me in the direction of a cleaning item I could not find).
2. Being out of our comfort zone can make even "simple" tasks difficult and it's no fun feeling so lost and at the mercy of others.

Luckily the day is nearly done so my bruised ego can recover a bit and I can better strategize for future shopping trips. Also, while my failed burgers don't look particularly appetizing, they don't taste terrible.

It's almost like we learn from trying something new and occasionally falling on our faces.

An Outside Perspective

Monday was Halloween. Kids were particularly...spirited. I was feeling grouchy due to a night of minimal sleep, feeling overwhelmed finishing grades for the end of the marking period, and yet another rough morning convincing my three year old that not only does she have to wear more than the over-sized t-shirt she slept in to go to preschool, but that Mommy also has to be to work by a specific time.

We were working on a piece we'd only looked at a couple of times before, it was not going well...and my principal came by for a pop in observation.

And all I could think of was everything going wrong.

via GIPHY  Me, on Monday. Minus the fez. Though I do hear that fezzes are cool.

Most days I love to have visitors come in. The students always find a little extra focus and enjoy a chance to show off what they've been working on. Monday was not one of those days.

Tuesday I came in to find some feedback in my mailbox. I threw it in with the rest of my mail and waited until I got back to my office to check it.

I should have looked sooner.

Where I saw a chaotic space, she saw an inviting environment. When the students and I both made mistakes, she complimented risk taking. When we were having a typical conversation about how to better align parts, she heard music specific language and vocabulary. And where I saw an every day band class, she saw engaged, hands on learning.

Though I know having a guest in the room it has its value, like so many others, I forget to take my own advice.  As a teacher and a musician, I sometimes forget to look at the good things my kids are doing. The day is spent on so many small details needed for improvement that I lose sight of the forest through the trees. Outside perspectives can really bring back focus on the positives, refresh your outlook, and bring the big picture back into focus.

It's Just Festival

This post is not just for you, Dear Reader. It's for me as well, because I know how ridiculous it sounds to say it's just Festival. I've turned into that director a time or two this past week. You know the one. That teacher that J.K. Simmons was channeling in Whiplash. I very much hope I haven't been that bad, but I know I definitely become a much crankier version of myself.

This is not to say that Festival (or Contest or what it's called in your region) is not an important event or experience, because it absolutely is! We're playing for not only our families, but other musicians who are giving us feedback on music we've worked on for months! We go and represent our school and our music departments for other music educators whose only impression of our district might come from seeing bands at Festival.  Students and teachers alike gain new insights and it helps set new musical goals.

Sometimes though we get hung up on that darn rating that comes with the experience. If we went to Festival only for a rating, there'd be a lot more Variations on Mary's Lamb (I get partial rights if someone decides to go write this!) and a lot less quality learning happening. As teachers, we say the rating doesn't matter. And maybe someday I'll even get to a point where I can be entirely truthful when I say that. I must confess though, it does matter a little. This is not my first rodeo, but I'm still in the first third of my teaching career, and earning higher ratings is a very validating feeling that I'm on the right track with my teaching and approach.

But when it comes down to it, for most of us, it's just Festival (for those whose rating may be a part of their official evaluation, my deepest apologies). This is a single event out of many for the whole year. The judges are there to give feedback on one performance. In the grand scheme of the whole year, you know what your kids have accomplished. Just like standardized tests are not a complete picture of our kids, neither is this one concert.

Take a moment in your final preparations and only write down positive things you hear. Ask someone else to listen. Invite another class down to hear what your kids have done. We even got some awesome insights this by sharing recordings with band students on the other side of the country! Because our tunnel hearing keeps us only hearing mistakes, and our musical  perfectionism wants us to correct them, we sometimes forget that we've got an awesome group of kids sitting in front of us, most of whom are playing their butts off.

And so, to those who have already played, I hope it was a great experience! To those who have not yet, remember to keep some perspective and have fun as you make music with your students!

Don't Take It Personally

We've hit that crazy time of year that is both thrilling and nerve wracking for band, choir, and orchestra teachers all over.

Festival/Contest Season?  No

Solo and Ensemble?  No

Musical Production? No

The time of year I'm talking about is Scheduling Season (cue the dramatic chord).  That time of year where we find out if we were successful music educators or complete failures.

Yes, I know. Complete failures sounds a little dramatic. But for every student who doesn't continue in music, we tend to feel like we've failed that kid in some way.

When we see that a student isn't on our class list here are some of the questions we ask ourselves:

• Did I make music enjoyable?
• Did I find ways to connect with that student?
• Did I screw something up?
• Were there social problems I wasn't aware of discouraging that student from coming back?
• Was there a financial issue I could have alleviated?
• Should I have spoken up more to make sure there weren't scheduling problems?
• Maybe they just didn't like me?
• Why didn't they like me?
• Maybe I didn't make music as enjoyable as I find it to be?
• Did I find ways to connect...

Me when a kid doesn't sign up for band next year.

It's hard for us to imagine that maybe our class just wasn't what that student was passionate about. Music educators put so much of themselves into what they do. Our relationships with students are frequently measured in years, not semesters. We spend countless hours with our students at outside school events. Instead of hanging out with my own daughter this Saturday, I was at middle school honors band and I'm going to miss another bedtime on Tuesday when I go to the concert.

Additionally, our classes are called "electives" for a reason. Unlike required math or science classes, (with the exception of the "My mom made me take band again this year" kids) students make the choice to be in our ensembles. While we know there's a lot that goes into schedule selection, especially as kids get older, it's hard to take the advice of "don't take it personally." In fact, hearing that phrase usually makes me crazy because what we do is personal.

For many of us, it goes beyond our personal feelings on the matter. Our basic livelihood can be decided on the whim of adolescents. This is a possibility for teachers in many other subjects due to standardized tests. For music educators though we run into the issue that if students don't sign up for our classes we have no one to teach.

I wish I had a good fix for the mental distress we experience this time of year. Sadly I do not. What I can offer though is the knowledge that you are not alone. You the teacher are doing what you can to make being a part of a performance ensemble a positive experience. You're adjusting and adapting to what your kids need while working as best you can within your circumstances. While I'm not saying you should give up on those who aren't in your groups any more, remember the students that did choose to come back and...

(special shout out to Dory for her help with this one!)

Suggested Additions to Instrumental Music Teacher Prep

The following are course descriptions for Amy's Really Really Awesome School of Music for People Who Want to Teach Good and Do Other Stuff Good Too and Who Experience Minimal Shame in Borrowing Humor from Famous Movies (we're thinking of changing the name...).

• Advanced Orthodontia
• Learn more about adolescent orthodontic issues and treatments than you ever thought you needed to know.  Discover strategies for dealing with: tooth extractions (including crowded baby teeth and wisdom teeth), braces, spacers, retainers, rubber bands, etc. as well as the benefits of wax.  Also covered will be the importance of thoroughly rinsing before playing any wind instrument, especially because at least one class will probably be right after lunch.
• Instrument Repair Inspired by MacGyver
• Repairs are most often needed two hours after your road representative has left, the day before an extended school break, immediately preceding a performance, or after your repair budget has been run into negative numbers...in January. Explore repair methods utilizing common items such as rubber bands, lighters, and plumber's tape as well as classic tools like screwdrivers, pliers, and hammers.  Bubble gum, duct tape, and paper clips will also be discussed.
• 80 Hours of Work in a "40 Hour" Week
• Develop the skills to convince your family not to put your face on a milk carton and how to help them remember what you actually look like should they need to.  Exam will include making the argument against a Missing Persons case during musical/festival/marching band season.  
• Room Gremlin Infestation
• "It was like that when I opened the case." Learn how to recognize and combat common gremlin issues such as: disassembled valves, new dents, instruments in the wrong locker, picked apart mallets, "stolen" music, broken strings, and foreign objects lodged in instruments. 
• Sound Systems for Dummies
• Your music degree will compel the assumption that you know how to work any sound system regardless of its age and actual intended use.  The fact that your college years were spent practicing your instrument and probably not learning about speakers, wireless microphones, and mixing boards will also be irrelevant. Learn just enough about most systems to be dangerous and sound like you know what you're talking about.

Please leave additional suggestions in the comments!  What else would you like to see?

An #EdCamp Love Letter

Dear EdCamp,

I know you've seen a lot of people and don't remember who I am, but I wanted to let you know the impact you've had on me.

A lot of my friends had been telling me to check you out for a long time.  But between grad school and a newborn at home, it just wasn't the right time for us.  Last fall though, I finally decided to give you a try.

I wasn't sure what to wear so I went with typical school day clothes.  Once I got there, I realized I was overdressed, but the environment was so welcoming that I quickly stopped caring about my clothes.

The vibe was unlike any other conference or professional development I'd ever attended.  People were excited to be there, and it was 8:30 on a Saturday morning!  There were a lot of differences between you and other PD I'd attended.  People had Twitter handles on their name tags, they wore shirts with QR codes linking to their websites, and...the session board was blank.  As I watched people request different topics, I watched the board fill up, including a session I found myself collaborating on with another teacher I'd just met!

You started off pretty flashy.  Some free breakfast, good opening remarks, and a quick recording for a lip dub and we were on our way.  My new colleague and I shared the impact of Twitter on our teaching and practice and got new teachers signed up and tweeting!

The rest of the day was a whirlwind of learning! I attended sessions everything from Visible Thinking, to maker spaces, to one inspired by speed dating that had us all sharing our favorite websites, apps, and technology with each other in 60 second bursts!  You were even thoughtful enough to buy lunch.

I've seen you several times since then.  Every meeting has left me with new inspiration and ideas.  After seeing so many other teacher sharing their learning and experiences, I gained the confidence to start sharing my own learning with colleagues.

Next weekend, I'll be returning to the site of our first encounter.  I can't wait to see the new things I'll learn, discover, and grow from!

Looking forward to seeing you again soon!

Amy