She was a 7th grader and since this was her first time, I tried to impress on her how this is a different kind of performance, how important she was to the group (she was one out of three clarinets in a band just shy of 25), and went through some logistical options so that she could leave as soon as we completed our performance to go to her mom's. I also reminded her that our official date and performance time had been shared weeks before, the potential dates were shared in our calendar that came out months before, and that this was a required performance as part of her grade.
All of this was said in best "teacher explanation" voice I could muster so close to our performance date. No yelling. Not angry. She left smiling and seemed confident she could make some alterations to her schedule that would allow her to still perform.
Shortly after our conversation, I got a phone call from her mom. I've had some unpleasant conversations with parents in my ten years. Some have left me shaken up. This was the only one that's made me cry.
This parent took my discussion with her daughter as being manipulative. She yelled. She questioned my integrity as not only a teacher, but as a person. She was angry that the school didn't send extra sets of everything to her because her ex didn't tell her anything. I barely got a few sentences in to try and explain. Nothing I said was going to change her mind though. Her daughter would not be attending the performance and made it very clear she didn't give a damn about whether I docked her grade.
It was written in the syllabus that performances were mandatory and that "legitimate non-emergency" excuses had to be submitted at least three weeks out from the performance. The policy was well-intentioned. It was what I'd grown up with. It was meant to prevent situations just like this where students had to adjust parts only days before a performance. But I hadn't yet figured out that saying "what's fair isn't always equal."
I'm ashamed to say that I lowered her grade. I tried to help by giving her a 50% instead of an outright 0, but that didn't make it feel any better.
This encounter is the first thing that comes to mind every time the conversation about make up assignments for missed performances comes up. It's an almost weekly conversation on the Band Director's Facebook Group. The first suggestion to come up is usually an extensive writing assignment. Some offer no make up option at all and fail the student. Some get into details on syllabus wording and what's considered "excused" before determining if a student should have a make up opportunity at all.
It's true that a performance is not an experience that you can replicate for an individual student. But the make up should have something to do with performing. A long paper seems punitive far more than educational. And offering no make up at all fails to take into account that we teach kids.
Kids whose schedules are at the discretion and mercy of their parents. Kids who just plain screw up and miss things. Kids who might be in high school but are pretty much raising themselves and their car breaks down. Kids whose families schedule vacations without checking the school/performance schedule. Kids whose families don't prioritize music and school like we feel it should be. And yes, kids whose parents use them as a tug of war rope in their relationship and custody issues.
Students who miss performances play through their concert music for me on their own. Usually it's after school, but sometimes on their lunch. No rubric. They just play it straight down for full performance credit. That's it. Performance for a performance. Honestly, the awkwardness of the experience is enough to deter most kids from wanting to do it at all or again, even though I do try to make them comfortable before playing.
There are certainly times I'm frustrated by a student's absence and the issues it can cause for other kids. There are also times I question the "emergency" that comes up. But as a colleague once said, I'm not in the business of determining and debating what's "legitimate." There are other things to spend my energy on.
I've since left that district, and that student is probably close to graduating if not already in college. I wish I could apologize to her for how I handled the entire situation. But then I could tell her that the experience led me to change my entire approach to missed performances and has prevented a lot of students after her from being negatively impacted by my policies.
Teachers still need to learn and change. Even we have to do it the hard way just like their students.
Thank you for your honesty in this post! And weighing in on concert make-ups...I agree, miss a performance, make up a performance. In person or record a video, their choice. Points do get docked if they don't play all of the songs or choose not to do it (after many reminders, opportunities in class/lunch, conversations with parents/other teachers/counselors), though :-). That's how I always handled it!
ReplyDeleteThanks Aubrey! If a student fails to make up the make up (after the same process of reminding), they do lose credit for the performance itself. But I think I've only had that happen once or twice since changing my policy.
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