Week 1

Borrowing from my friend Joe Guarr, I want to try my best to document whatever ::gestures all around:: this is and will be as we navigate the school year.

First, our district is virtual through the end of September. Will we attempt to return to face to face on October 1? Insert shoulder shrug here. I honestly hope not, because I do not think things are going to get any better as the weather gets less friendly for outdoor activities. I'm really grateful that we not only started virtually, but that we've been given the option to teach from home or school. So many colleagues are not being treated as the professionals they are and it is absolutely infuriating. The idea that teachers need to be babysat to make sure they're "doing their jobs" is asinine. 

But in a weird juxtaposition of feelings, I'm also terribly jealous of colleagues who are getting to see kids and who have even made a some music with them. The logical part of my fully understands that not putting hundreds or even thousands of kids into a building during a pandemic is bad. I also understand that playing instruments together makes things exponentially more dangerous with an airborne virus. But my heart aches for the real connection over virtual and for the cacophonous sounds of middle schoolers making their first sounds (some for the first time in months some for the first time ever). 

I'm also experiencing a weird guilt about the fact I'm not more stressed out. While many of my friends and colleagues are teaching brand new classes and working 27 hours a day to make that happen, I'm teaching the same things I always have. It's very obviously going to look pretty different, but at least I'm not trying to figure out a new subject and/or totally new school while also figuring out how the heck to do it online. Also there's the fact that I still have a job and I'm in a district that supports music and is finding ways to help us safely engage our kids rather than cut it altogether like so many others have. I'm so so grateful, but also feel like I should be doing more.

Alllllll of that aside, it was so nice to see kids this week, even if it was over Zoom. My older students jumped right back in to chatting with each other like we'd never left and are looking forward to playing next week. My beginners were just so enthusiastic about everything it was hard not to be excited right along with them. Even though my icebreakers were a little bumpy due to forgetting about things like lag and working out pacing in this new set up, they were all patient and kind. I really wish more adults could take a page from their book in learning to show grace. 

Cliche as it may be, getting to interact with kids again helped the summer slog of meetings, researching ideas, saving links, and generally freaking out about everything feel much more worth the energy invested.