The Best Laid Plans

 When the school year started, I had the best of intentions in sharing my experiences of navigating this school year. And then the school year happened. And my blogging didn't. So here are the Cliff's notes of what has happened since my Week 2 post back in September:

• We went back to school. And it was probably my least favorite teaching experience ever. No instruments. 90-120 minute classes. No technology for students. No books to utilize. No group work (understandably!). Kids in and out for quarantine. Me desperately song and dancing my way through those looooong classes trying to find ways to engage kids. Any time I wasn't at school I was researching movie music and trying to find ways to create a curriculum about it. All that plus the constant worry of getting sick and/or bringing it home to my family...I can't ever remember being so stressed as a teacher.
• While we were in school I wore an N95 mask, a colorful mask overtop, a face shield, and scrubs to save wear and tear on my good school clothes. I also put a big tape line down on the floor to force myself to keep my distance from my students, which I hated but was necessary. The second I came home, all my clothes went into a Rubbermaid tub and I went right to the shower. 
• Gotta say that I didn't hate wearing scrubs though. No worrying about what to wear, super comfy, TONS of pockets!
• Being F2F only lasted about a month before our community numbers rose so high so rapidly that we ended up being back to our remote set up. It was a weird feeling to be so relieved but also so guilty at my relief because it meant things were awful for others. 
• We've been remote since late November. We've used our band time to play instruments, but the number of cameras on has dwindled down to single digits in several classes. I have no idea what most of my kids are doing during our class time. Teaching blank boxes might be safer, but it's depressing and getting harder to stay "On."
• Our first ever Virtual Concert premiered last week! I am so proud of what our kids have accomplished. I was also a little proud of myself for literally learning video editing on the fly to put it together. It was crazy tedious and I don't even want to think of the hours spent on what amounted to an eight minute concert. It was wonderful to hear my kids "playing together" again. The first time I got the audio to line up on a chorale my 7th graders were playing, I burst into tears.

All of that brings us to today. We got the word this week that we're going to start back F2F soon and I'd be lying if that doesn't bring mixed feelings in a big way. Michigan's numbers are back closer to where we were in the fall, but the new variants of the virus are turning out to be even more highly contagious, especially among kids. I get my first vaccine in a couple of days, but my second one won't be until a couple weeks after we're back. And I got lucky because most of my friends and family who are eligible for this round of vaccinations still haven't been able to make appointments due to lack of availability.

And vaccinating teachers is great, BUT THERE ARE STILL KIDS IN THE BUILDING WHO CAN GET SICK TOO! We have NO idea what the long term impacts of this virus will be on kids. And kids who get sick can spread it to family and friends. If the UK is any indication, things may get significantly worse before they get better. 

Our new schedule helps me feel a little better. Classes will be shorter and students will no longer eat lunch in the building which means no more time spent unmasked. Our band PPE came in too which means we can play. Colleagues in other parts of the country have been playing while following safety measures, but again, the more highly contagious variants make me really nervous. What if all our steps aren't enough?

But again, I'd be lying if there's not a little part of me excited make music. By the time we're back at it, it will have been 11 months since the last time we played together. But that excitement feels selfish with all the risks that are out there right now, especially when we are so close to getting the necessary number of people vaccinated and trials for kids have started too. I've been back and forth between anticipation and anxiety more than I can say over the last week. 

So that's where we are right now. This coming week is a short one to kick off the new semester and the week after I'll move my tech back and start prepping for F2F. Maybe I'll even blog about things once we get started instead of waiting several months again. I'm finding out this year that planning more than a week ahead for just about anything is often a futile effort.